Sea level is a sad and dangerous place. That’s why everyone is so happy in aeroplanes—and atop mountains! This chart PROVES that the higher the altitude, the more lifted one’s spirits.

“Gooditude” is an intrinsic component of living the "Good" Life. But what brings the most gooditude? Years of research have isolated these four critical ingredients in the recipe for ultimate happiness. You may be surprised to find sweaters in there, but take my word for it. Sweaters work—that’s why I never take mine off!

Summer is a miserable slog—even at 8,000 ft. It’s too hot to drink cocoa, there’s no snow and there’s nothing to watch but reruns. So I choose to think of the non-cocoa months as a chance to hibernate. That’s why I’m able to go the entire ski season without sleep!

Now, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to understand this chart: there’s a tremendous gap between good and not-good. See? See how itty-bitty not-good is? Who wants that, when you can have all that big blue goodness?

We paid a lot of money to have this chart made. See how contoured it is? And look! It has a top and a side! That’s called “3-D” Technology and they make it with computers. What will they think of next?!?!?!